Part 30: The Bonga Bugle, Part 3: How is this paper still around?

Update 30: The Bonga Bugle, Part 3: How is this paper still around?

In This Update:
- Crime scenes!
- Meeting the Owner in all his glory!
- More weird interview questions!

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Hello and welcome back! Today's update concludes our foray into the wide world of journalism. Let's dive right into it!


Selection by interview. Wolves only. Sheep need not apply!

Khamja doesn't really count as a crime syndicate, if you were wondering.

Or maybe the Editor knows well enough not to bother them.





: And we're looking at crime syndicates this month! I know you're eager to start, but... That's right! It's time for a simple interview.

: Alright, here goes!




Now that's just mean, Mr. Editor.

Let's choose the correct answer:



: You're hired! I didn't expect anyone to actually howl for me...

: Has it come to this? Howling for my pay...?

: So, if I may begin... We'll be focusing on the Zedlei Consortium this time. In Targ Woods, no less!




A quick walk across the continent later...





: W-We're reporting on a crime syndicate to-today... Y-You'll be in the, er, line of fire, so I was hoping you could help with my report!



: Eh? What's that suspicious glare there for? You don't believe me...? Well maybe some cold steel will change yer mind!



: W-Wait! I'm here to serve you! I'll do anything! How about my hat? You like? You can all have one! J-Just spare my life!!!

: Bwahaha! Anything, you say? How 'bout everything, then! Drop what you're carrying and leave!



: Time to fight, and protect the Head Editor!




The Zedlei Consortium always fields a team of seeq and produce. Vicious, angry, monstrous produce. In this case, an Alraune and a Malboro.


The seeqs are slightly more dangerous. Or at least the Ranger is. He's not very good at placing traps though, I never ran into the ones he placed.


Despite the high levels of the enemy, this battle isn't too hard. The Malboro and Berserker are rather slow -- the former only got two or three turns. The Ranger would rather set traps, and the Alraune can barely scratch us.


Besides this hit, the Editor stays back and doesn't try to fight the enemies himself.


Also, we have Magick Frenzy. Why have I never used this job before?


I caught Leed mid-Frenzy.


Here's one of Paladin's signature attacks: Saint Cross. It's like Roundhouse, except kind of good!


It doesn't take too long to clean up the rest of the enemies.

: Whew! That did it!


The Head Editor decided to hide behind the bar. Honestly, I can't blame him.

Ivalicean alcohol is probably pretty awesome.



: Wait, what do you mean, "criminal-on-criminal"?!

: Well, well, let's not let the details distract us from the big picture here!






At least he was kind enough not to name our clan!

---


"You'll be owner next!"
(Transportation costs reimbursed.)

By now, we're well familiar with the Head Editor: a bumbling, incompetent mess of a journalist who somehow manages to get the paper out every month.

Now we get to meet the person who enables this perpetual car crash: The Owner.





: We've got something special for you this month: that's right, our Owner!!! Now it's time for a simple interview. All right, here goes!




These are some great options, honestly.

Role model:


Disgrace:


And the actual correct answer:


: Sometimes it's hard to say it like you mean it.

: ...Ahem! Right! ...What was I saying? Ah yes! We'll be conducting our reportage in Fluorgis! I'll be heading out now! See you there! And don't go forgetting!






I brought Vaan and Penelo along. I'm trying to keep their levels on track with the rest of the clan's, even though they're not that fun to use.

And by "not that fun," I suppose I mean, "they haven't spent several thousand AP to become severely overpowered yet."



: This month we're doing a special on the man himself, our very own Owner of the Bonga Bugle! Watch in amazement as our Owner strews the field of battle with the broken remains of his foes! And I'll be recording every minute of the action, with you as witness!


Great. Grenades.

: You sure the Owner is up to this?

: Such... insolent fools! Apologize to the Owner at once! The Owner possesses power of which the likes of you can only dream! Just watch his level when combat begins... therein lies the truth! Well, Owner! Are you prepared!?




: All right, let's see everyone giving it their all out there! I want -epic- violence, people!

: You're... serious? ...Okay then. Guess it's fighting time. Oh, and we protect the Owner... and the Head Editor, while we're at it.


So this battle is actually one of the harder Bonga Bugle quests.


Because of this. The Owner has absolutely no sense of self preservation, willingly jumps into combat, and is only level 1.

(This was from my first attempt. I was luckier the second time.)




There's really not much you can do to keep him safe besides kill the two enemies near him. They'll prioritize him over other targets, so move quickly.


Ranged attacks and the layout of the battlefield will challenge you.


This was the first lucky break: the Editor had enough time to heal the Owner with a Potion.

He knows who keeps the lights on, I suppose.


That means he'll actually survive the counterattack.


Wait, hold on, how the hell did he survive that? I really should have checked his abilities, he should have died there!


I honestly have no idea why I didn't notice that while playing. Anyway, Adelle heals him back to full.


There's stuff going on over here, no one cares.


This side of the battlefield is now safe. The Owner will try to run over to the enemies on the other side, but he's really slow. We have enough time to finish them off before he throws himself into danger again.


This helps a lot.


And the last one falls a few turns later.



: Ho ho! Gorgeous! I was able to get a splendid shot of our esteemed Owner in action! Hmm!? I believe the Owner wants to say something!



: Owner, I will carry those words with me to my grave! Poetry! Pure poetry! And now, it's back to the office to write, write, write!

: Ah, right. Well, glad you're happy.

: Thank you, thank you.



: Oh, and by the way, Happy New Year to you!






We've already met the Clan Mates fellow. I can only assume the Seeker of Slaughter is as nice as the other members of his clan.

---


- Head Editor, Bonga Bugle




One of the more unique quests, where we go around and talk to everyone in Moorabella.


Everyone. I mean going door to door, too. Every person and every house must be surveyed!



: Anyway, it's that time of year again when folks feels strangely compelled to set themselves unrealistic goals! I refer, of course, to New Year's resolutions. Yes, people can't get enough of them! Which means...? Which means -you'll- soon be busy asking around to find out just what resolutions are being made this year!

: Um... How do I do that again?

: Why, it's easy as pie! Talk to people on the street, or knock on doors and talk to the residents of the city! Don't worry about bothering anyone, you're a -reporter- remember? Oh ho ho, people just love attention.

: When you're done, just come to me and let me know what the most popular resolutions were, eh?

: I think I can do that... but isn't that your job as head editor? What are you going to do?

: Ah, good question! Well, as it happens, I'm currently researching an article about... pastimes which involve snow? Yes! Pastimes of the snowy variety! As such, I'll be over here making a snowseeq until you return.

: Er... right. Well, I suppose there's nothing to do but get this done with!



: What? It's a family tradition! Now get reporting!


There's four kinds of resolutions: making money, keeping healthy, pursuing hobbies and working hard. It's not always clear which resolution falls into which category, though most of them are about making money.


"Tee hee! Why, I'd love to on lots of trips with my man... I suppose that means I'll have to work hard and make lots of money! Hope that helps!"


"I suppose I'd best diet if I'm going to fit into my old clothes. *munch* *munch*"


And some of them maybe aren't resolutions at all.


Pursuing hobbies? Making money? Kind of both, aren't they?


New year's resolution: Knock over a couple banks. Making money, working hard and pursuing a hobby, all in one.


That's just precious.


Anyway, once you've had enough of the local color, head back over to the Head Editor and talk to him.



: Well then, tell me! What's the most popular resolution this year? Oh, and get it right... You'll only get once chance. This isn't a game, you know. So tell me! What was the most popular resolution for the new year?


This year's was "pursuing hobbies." To be honest, I ended up guessing.



: Yes, yes. Sometimes a little diversion makes the difference between a life of joy, and a life of drudgery. Don't tell anyone, but I've got a bit of a hobby myself! Napping! I do it at work all the time.

: ...Ahem. *snort* Where was I? Oh yes... Thanks to you, we have a report to grace our front page this month! I'll head back to the office and with a twirl of my quill, make these notes into a story!

: Hey, that's great. I'll be sure to check it out.

: Thank you, thank you.





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Cool and collected applicants preferred.

Are we really at the last Bonga Bugle already?

Not entirely: every one of these quests is repeatable! This is actually pretty nice, because they reward you with some solid mid-tier loot.





: And we're looking at... that's right, famous places! Ahem! But before we get started... I'd like to conduct a simple interview, if you would?





: Nobody in my office laughs like that! Nobody! You're out!

That's what you're going to complain about? Really?

The correct answer:


: ... Oh ho! Yes! You're cool, you're very cool! Why, I feel a slight chill! Congratulations. You're hired!

: All right!

: So, if I may begin... This time we'll be investigating the Ruins of Delgantua! I'll be heading out now! See you there! And don't go forgetting!




Fortunately, we aren't overly reliant on buffs. Tranq (+Accuracy) would be great for this battle though.



: This month we're taking a look at a place worth taking a look at! And photographing it! Our vict-ahem- subject will be Delgantua, ruins of mystery! Ah, her crumbling parapets! Ah, her darkened sconces! What a sight! What a ruin!

: Not a very convincing pitch... If I didn't know any better, I'd say our Head Editor's not all that into his subject.



: Aaaauuuuugh! It's a gh-ghost or something, isn't it? W-Well, I've got photos to take, s-so I'll let my trusty assistants deal with the local color! Time to report! Aiiiieeeee!!!

: Who are you calling a ghost!? You're the pale one, spooky one! Wait... what are you doing here? What wrong do you intend upon us!?

: I kind of agree the Head Editor is the suspicious one here... Oh well. Let's do this... and keep our favorite editor safe and sound!




The only scary thing here is we're facing a clan of viera. Fortunately, they aren't terribly powerful, and they're slightly below our level.


No gimmicks here, besides navigating the water and the cliff. Flying units or Faerie shoes are great on this map.


This is starting to feel like cheating.


Of course, they do get some good hits in.


Conditions don't care what level you are.


But we have a mass cleanse in the form of Unicorn!


I still love Break.

This made me realize another problem with conditions in this game. Or, I guess, an effect of the condition nerf. Since they all have low base accuracy now, only the ones that really incapacitate the target -- Stone, Stop, Sleep+Doom, for example -- are worth the risk. Less debilitating conditions can be useful in niche situations, but why bother Berserking or Poisoning someone when you can stop them from taking any turns at all?


Also, there's apparently traps here, but once again we somehow don't run into any of them.


Anyway, that's three of them down for the count. The White Mage could probably have helped the stoned Elementalist, but she never got the chance.


The trap really made sure of that.



: Brilliant! Splendid! I've never taken so many photos of the supernatural before! I needs must return to the bureau and make of this a story!

: Um, look, they weren't... Whatever. Looking forward to the paper!

: Thank you, thank you.





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Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed these Bonga Bugle quests. I've said before that this game's writing is one of its strengths, and these quests are proof. They're silly, well-paced and enjoyable.

We'll surely see the Head Editor again -- he likes to stick his nose into whatever interesting business pops up. Sometimes the Owner tags along, too.